So much loss. I close my eyes and just see the fires burning from so long ago. I can see there faces. Trebor, Kit Fisto, Kota, Anakin; all of them gone. I want to hate them. To hate the emperor, Vader, even the inquisitor I saw in the space port. The empire, the Hutts and any other who would use their power to oppress and exploit the people that they should be protecting. I could not see the right from the wrong. The good from the Evil. I closed my eyes and saw my pain. My loss. Then I remembered. You will know when you are calm, at peace. Passive. A Jedi uses the Force for knowledge and defense, never for attack. There is no emotion, there is peace.
I choose the easy path. To ignore it all and to forget what I have learned. Over the past few weeks I felt that the Force had abandoned me. I wanted it to abandoned me. I wanted to close my eyes and see nothing. To feel nothing. I turned to drink and try to wash it all away. Train yourself to let go of everything you fear to lose. I did that long ago. In less than a month I learned to be selfish and greedy. Not of material things but of being numb. I was devastated by what happened. I lost Trebor. I lost Kit Fisto. I lost Kota. Now I remember. Death is a natural part of life. Rejoice for those around you who transform into the Force. Mourn them do not. Miss them do not. Attachment leads to jealously. The shadow of greed that is. I do not know who that inquisitor is and I did not think to ask. She is looking for a woman named Morian Kal. The force could show me. Through the Force, things you will see. Other places. The future…the past. Old friends long gone. Through the force I could gain the knowledge to save her. To find her. There is no ignorance, there is knowledge.
I close my eyes once more. I let the fear, the anger, the hate and the passion go. There is no passion, there is serenity. A Jedi must have the deepest commitment, the most serious mind. For my ally is the Force, and a powerful ally it is. Life creates it, makes it grow. Its energy surrounds us and binds us. Luminous beings are we, not this crude matter. I must feel the Force around me; here, between me, and her, the ship, the planet, everywhere. I can feel her and I know where to go. I know what I must do. I must lead them. I wanted to let go. I wanted to force others to take their place. The force has shown me that it is my turn. It is my turn to lead. I will follow the will of the force.
I will let go my own desires. The light of the Jedi has been dimmed but it has not been extinguished. There will be peace and justice in the galaxy. My eyes will be turned toward where I am. To what I am doing. The Jedi order of the old republic did not die. There is no death, there is only the Force.
- Sinek earned 3 XP
- Sinek gained access to the “Seek” force power.
- Sinek gained 1 Morality